Perch'n Puss

It's a been an inexcusable time since I last uploaded a diddy on here. I could say that I've jet setting on the wings of birds of prey, or deep diving into oceans where sea turtles sing in chorus. This is not the case. It's been taken up with domestic duties, the day to day grind of being gainfully employed and wait for it! My own little angels of fluff.

Where I live (no longer North, but East) we have several felines in the neighbourhood. I have regular garden intruders with their wide eyed glare....admittedly they are more likely fearful than confrontational. We have a ginger cat, who I thought was homeless, alas just like "Affectionate Puss" has a home, is well feed but to lazy to go through his own cat flap.

There is a delicious black cat, he's not around much these days but as Spring approaches, I'm sure he'll raise his whiskers. Now, I've mentioned the above because these mogs are within 4 houses of my own. So when I ventured into the street perpendicular to my own.....it was a whole new community of paws and spiked ears. Staring at me as if to say "ehhhh and who are you"? Now, I'm obviously in the habit of taking pictures of cats....and giving a cheeky pat....so when I spied this dude, he was too good not to inspire an upload to this blog. 

Our meeting was short and sweet as I was off to meet my fellow cat mama (who'll we'll call "Sooks Ma"...) we had a chat, had a scratch and then I whipped out the iPhone. He didn't seem to perturbed and I snapped away until I realised it looked strange....I mean, this isn't Islington and well......our neighbours are all very security conscious. 

I am going to name him "Perch'n Puss" - there he was, just perched on the fence pedestal. It was a conflicting sight as he didn't seem traditionally regal, maybe all knowing....more likely indifference as he's spent his whole life being pattered and cooed upon.

There were so reciprocal head rubs, no purrs....just a slow blinking and what could be described as a "well go on then woman"!!

I am not sure who really benefits when I lunge for a cat, it's more than likely me.....but you all as avid and committed readers have a 3 minute escape into my cat loving world. 

Loving cats is easy.

There is no comparison to be made about whether I "like" cats more than dogs, it's a ridiculous discussion. What I can compare it to is daily interactions with people. Cats behave like people. You annoy them, leave them...adore them and they'll respond the same say a human will. The Egyptians worshipped cats, and it's because they are so more likely to cause plague, famine and would probably be riding with the four men of the apocalypse for all you Christians out there . 

The point I'm trying to make is, pat a cat in the street.....save kittens from your back shed....one day, cats will probably confess that they were "God" all along and it was an in joke that it spelt dog backwards..."gotta give Fido some hope ay"....

    

Affectionate Much Puss? Clapham Carpark Puss

I have 2 cats of my own. Lua, the cross eyed Birman who secretly loves to smooch but won't admit it, and Bettie who is openly needy and displays her insecurities on a minute by minute basis. The way it's always worked is, the more to you show you want someone the more they'll run away..least in the case of my Bettie this isn't true.  Her yearning to be near me, on top of me...me looking at her, her having my undivided attention is paramount to her daily activity... This usually starts at 4:30am. So when Iwoke up  somewhere that wasn't my own home I am usually rested....last night was particularly a heavy sleep that had me being chased into Fawkner Cemetery and cutting my hair short as not to be discovered by the South American hit man following me. That is really for another blog. 

Anyway....I had a CAT FREE sleep. I did however not have a cat free morning. Upon leaving the apartment this little kitty greeted me (after I crooned awwwww wellllooooo puddymeow).. 

She was needy. Strokes lead to desperate meows and a bums raised in the air... Twisting around my legs in Möbius strip fashion, that head butt that obviously cries for a tickle...it was a more aggressive Bettie. 

It grew tiresome that this meow wouldn't keep still for a simple tickle, least Bettie looks like a deer in the headlights most of the time and manages to keep svelte like, with tender trodding never optional but a necessity. 

Congrats Clapham Capark Puss! You brought a little bit of my morning cat nightmares to South London! 

Pâté Pusses

Having arrived in one the most beautiful places I have ever been to in my life, I was texted over lunch that "Rachelle, zere is wee kitties in zere gardourn for you to playz with, zere eh tweo and zere are very queete..."  So it didn't take long for me to finish my salad and rush to the villa that is currently home until Saturday. 

It was an absolute delight when "zere two chats" arrived, coaxed by pate and ham to come closer, I was in squeezable squeals of delight almost constantly...what was surprising was so was everyone else, clambering to feed the cats out pork pâté and anything else we could find on the table. I'm not to one to compete for attention or affection, but this time the inner challenge was on. Pâté Pusses needed to be mine. Alas, I was only able to get a shot of the svelte black pussy chat, the other - a motley tortoiseshell (a short haired "Bear") in very recluse...they do bound together up trees, play by the pool....stalk our pork but mostly just look soooooooo deliciously cute. I have check in luggage on my flight home, I wonder if I have to declare that I have brought back live stock from the continent?

I sincerely hope that the Pâté Pusses let me get to know them, else this blog update is as barren as the sand still in the crouch of my bikini bottoms! 

.....Bowie, Bow to Meow!

.....Currently at the V&A is the Bowie Retrospective. Sadly, I was too busy cleaning the dust out of my life that managed to miss out on grabbing a ticket to see some Star Dust in action. I'm disappointed, but I suppose I'll have to focus on something else...and I have found that something else in the form of a stunning white creature, who'll we'll call Meowness Bowie Puss. 

By all accounts, MBP is one handsome snowflaked devil of a feline. So pure in fur that he could be a member of the Children of God sect without the requirement for bleach.

MBP is currently residing with an official sitter, a Cat Mama who will douse the puss in strokes, sardines and soundtracks to Labyrinth I'm sure.

With emerald and sapphire eyes gleaming my obvious, this feline is a delightful substitute to David. Perhaps if David saw MBP, he himself would offer a place at the V&A exhibition for best lookalike. I don't need to queue for hours, I can just stew into the gem stones abyss of these eyes....

Wonder if MBP has a friend, imagine a Major Tom...

.....The Houdini of Meows. 

There isn't many felines out there that are able to do slight of paw card tricks... hold their breath underwater, disappear with no trace from a confined space, but Tilly can and continues to put the fear into her guardians with her antics of ammmeowzment.

Last week Tilly went missing. Almost 3 nights of absence brought concern, tears and what I am sure unmentionable thoughts.. alas, as the opening of the sentence states, it was "almost" 3 nights. Just like a Jesus puss, Tilly emerged from Finsbury Park RSPCA - somewhat annoyed by the whole account and indeed already deliberating her next disappearing act.

Not even floorboards can stop her from escaping the residence she calls home.... having her cat daddy Andy rip them up and shine a guiding torch light to ensure her safe return... covered in cobwebs and god knows what else, Tilly I am sure looked at Andy with indifference and a certain degree of "aren't you even going to ask how I got in here"?

Tilly is the Houdini of Meows.

Deliciously creative in her escapes, she radiates the inner confidence and pride of a David Blane, but with the 1920's Charm of Gatsby. I for one am impressed by her ability, but somewhat concerned if she ever meet one of my felines, she'd whisk them away on a road of enchantment and wonder... only to leave them to fend for themselves once she realised her Royal Canin doesn't just appear on the side of the road, but by the hands of her guardians Andy and Tess.

Dearest Tilly, 
For the sake of your loving humans, refrain from the slinking out of the house. And though you are now on first name basis with the man that runs the off-license it doesn't mean you are invincible - you should stop sinking the white lightening and jumping into other dimensions... 

Regards
CONL

Grin and Bear It – All Claws, Paws and Purrs

North London is scattered with  kebab shops, off licences… furniture shops you wouldn't be caught in (oh! I'll take a sheet set of lice too please) and bookies. 

North London also, has pristine Georgian homes,  celebrity cemeteries and a bloody great Waitrose on the Holloway Road. I love all these aspects of North London, it's mixed up with so much density and layers that everyone can find something they need or dare I say want!!!

In this instance, I now want "Bear". 

She will have to accept that once I am fixated, I am all about the next squeeze and the swoon of being puurrrred at. By all accounts, Bear likes a chat, a scratch and has a tenancy for mood swings…. Honest to Betsie, it's just like me…All I need to do now is meet her and have her fall for me…. Don't get me wrong…. I am not replacing "secret favourite" puss, nor am I suggesting my own felines fail in the affection/love department…. But why limit yourself to the joys of cat fluff in your mouth and leg rubs? 

The deliciously expressive Bear as you can see is a charismatic – no holds barred lady of the North. No squirrel is to agile, not chicken to cooked…. No illustrated expression to intense. Lets all ask Bear to grin and bare my lust for hugging cats….. She might give me a swift scratch, which is okay – apparently we hurt the one's we love….. 

Kate Moss has nothing on Minka

It's not a given that people love cats, it should be. I often have the debate as to why they have just as much merit as obedient dogs, slippery salamanders and bitching budgies. They can look straight into your soul and rip apart anything that may be lurking.... like Perez Hilton, but without the commercialised blogsite! 

Most cats I have come into contact with of late are svelte, (even under fluff), deliciously curious.... whilst also staying aloof... (except a ginger cat who will remain nameless, who I adore beyond meows, he is a huggy ball of  "awwwwwww cuddles chunky puss") - I believe, these cats would all make wonderful clothes horses in the human world.... especially Minka, who I introduce now.  

Minka, a striking Russian Blue has all the formidable characteristics of a supermodel puss. Great bone structure... dense coat (her own, take that Naomi Campbell) and intensely driving eyes... she is infact, the Kate Moss of the cat world... alas, I think Minka has yet to develop a taste for scruffy and unwashed tomcats that flutter and prowl around Islington. This cat of North London could easily make the cover of World Cats, or dare I even suggest, the packet of a Royal Canin mix? She is the Anna Karina of the cat world..!! Take that Kiera Knightly! 

There is one thing holding Minka back.. and if she did peruse seriously a career in cat modelling... she might have to get herself a catnip addiction or a quick trip to Eastern Europe..... I cannot divulge her hinderance.... but nothing some cat spanks couldn't fix for the interim! ;)