.....I think I will lay here a while..

A craze yet to hit Blighty (just like the use of crystal meth) Planking is happening all over the world. Last week I saw a picture of Hugh Hefner "planking" on his dining table... honestly, I thought he'd taken to much Viagra and ended up face down due engaging in "The Stranger"* technique...


The Beibs too has been spotted abet somewhat unsuccessfully giving it a horizontal splat..I mean what does a 17 year old raggamuffin know anyways*...ALOT less than my subject of this evening followers....Introducing.........wait for it....

PLONKING PUSS

This cat isn't a "planker" he is as you can see more of a ginger biscuit "Plonker".  Before you all rush with your hundreds of comments I know what plonker colloquially means.. and I don't mean it in that way....how could I.. I haven't meet this puss.. in fact while I am it, I took a request, Here's to you Russell Harrison - here is your beast!! So, PLONKING PUSS is a lovable, uncomplicated meow who spends his days whiskers down, paws strewn at the rear, front paws tucked somewhere I have no idea where... Ehhhh actually, this is a tad disconcerting... Maybe "Plonking Puss" should be "Stranger Puss".....Unless Russell you didn't tell me Jasper (his real meow name) has to use wheels for his front legs pulled by mice... and they are on their break!! 

On Scale, this is Boris

Have you ever seen something from afar and thought "DAM, that's big"... and then stood near it and felt somewhat ripped off at the scale it it. To elaborate I mean the size in actual reality  wasn't that big, just the distance and proportions were not correct.

Well, I have (no suprises) and in this instance it is Boris. I can't give Boris a name because obviously he has one. I know this because of CATBOOK. Yeap, when we moved into our flat we did a search of the local paws and Boris is a neighbour...He ruled the roost, until Lua turned up. Lua is twice his size and with his side kick Bettie, Boris just doesn't stand a chance.. even if Lua and Bettie are not allowed to stalk the fence on their own....

Sorry Boris, you are indeed a handsome puss but when it comes to being the manor's number one meow.. you lose out!! Don't fret, vocally you are the King and may I suggest if you want to taunt the former two sit on the back fence and yoddle your lungs..